![]() ![]() Carlos Lozada, of the Washington Post, wrote, “As defined by DiAngelo, white fragility is irrefutable. . . . Millions of Americans began to consider concepts such as systemic racism and look anew at the racial disparities in law enforcement, and DiAngelo became a guide for many of them.ĭiAngelo’s success was not entirely without controversy: critics claimed that her definition of “white fragility” was broad and reductive and that DiAngelo, who is white, condescended to people of color. Major corporations, such as Amazon and Facebook, embraced the slogan “Black Lives Matter” and brought DiAngelo in to speak. The theme for November’s NaBloPoMo is blogging for blogging’s sake.In 2018, Robin DiAngelo, an academic and anti-racism consultant, published the surprise best-seller “ White Fragility.” The book, which argues that white people tend to undermine or dismiss conversations about race with histrionic reactions, climbed best-seller lists again last summer, when the murder of George Floyd and the surging Black Lives Matter movement forced American institutions to address structural racism. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.” ![]() Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. ‘It doesn’t happen all at once,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,’ he asked, ‘or bit by bit?’ ‘When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.’ ‘Sometimes,’ said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. In the Velveteen Rabbit, the Skin Horse tells the Rabbit about becoming real. I am learning to speak the truth, share my voice, and be an honest, authentic me. I still worry about what you think about me, but I am spending much less time in that part of my brain. I just don’t want to hide my voice or dishonor who I am in order make you like me or approve of me. I don’t want to say or do things that are mean or hurtful. This doesn’t mean ignoring the feeling of others. Truthfully, if I try to make everyone think the best of me, I am going to disappoint everyone at some point in time. I have given up too much of my life to “them.” I got lost and had no idea who I was or what I believed. When I become preoccupied with what someone else might think, I don’t share my honest self and voice. I might have been able to offer some insight that could have been helpful, but chose to allow “what they might think of me” to control my actions. I knew I would be judged because he conversation including judging others who had similar experiences. I stayed quiet during a conversation in a group even though I had personal experience I could have shared. I was reminded of this quote and these lessons yesterday. I need to stay out of other people’s baskets, even if I don’t want to. What people think of me is in their basket. I wrote a blog a couple of years ago about something my therapist calls “baskets.” She says I only have to be concerned and deal with what is in my basket. I get angry when I feel judged or misunderstood. ![]() I want to defend my life and choices if someone doesn’t agree or challenges me. I know it is none of my business, but I am a people pleaser and I want everyone to like me (even if I don’t like them so much) and think the best. “What other people think of me is none of my business.” was a quote from Eleanor Roosevelt, first lady (1933 – 1945) and reform leader. ![]()
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